i turned 50 this year, hard to believe but ever so true and until you turn 50 you think nothing of that age, what you might look like, what you might feel like, how life impacts on you and kinda like what's next!
50 for me seemed so far away, obviously when you're younger you think 50 is fairly old, life slows down, you function less and all those things that come with aging.
so when i turned 50 this May, i kinda went whoa...slow down girl, life is moving by far too fast and in a blink 50 years have gone and i won't have another 50 years left. how the heck did that happen????!
my kids are all grown up, i have a beautiful grand bubba i adore, i've been married, separated, divorced, single, in a relationship and forever swimming in a sea of uncertainties. and as much as turning 50 felt old when I was younger, now that i am here, it's pretty dam awesome to be honest.
i am one of those fortunate women that genetics have been kind to me regarding the quality of my skin, lack of wrinkles and most people are shocked to find out my age as they always place me in my late 30's, which i must say is pretty cool too.
what has the last 50 years taught me...the ones i remember, the ones i grew up in, the ones i lived a life in...firstly and for certain...once we hit this age we're pretty sure we're not going to live another 50...well at least not like we've lived the last.
the aging process has well and truly kicked in and as much as it's a scary place, it's also pretty cool.
i choose not to dress for my age, i still consider myself as quite attractive and easy on the eye (those genetics), my children have all grown up, i've lived through terrible moments, bad moments, hideous moments and survived...do i call myself a surviver? no...not anymore. i choose to live here...in the now ready to take on all that i can, ready to live life to its fullest because i can, because i didn't get to 50 to live life on a downer, negatively or feeling like crap.
i've already been there, lived those moments and now even through the tough times, i need to remember that i have managed to get to 50, i have survived the trauma's, i have survived the gossip, the stories, the bullying, a sudden unexpected marriage breakdown of 28 years, the loss of who and where i belong. i've been there and i don't wish to stay there.
50 to me has also brought about great things. i have lived a life of experiences....the bad, the good and the inbetween. i have finally come to a sense of belonging in my own skin and i don't need negative or insecure people in my life. i have been known to be intimidating and at 50 i will no longer apologise or feel guilty for that like i have for the past 40 odd years. i have grown into me, my life, my character, my personality and my soul and for those that brought me down over the years because they were jealous...i have got to 50 and i'm really okay with my life. and if you didn't like me because i was bold, confident, creative, smart, lovable, empathetic, brave, articulate and educated before i turned 50 because your pettiness, immaturity and your character...yes you got in the way...you won't like me now because i am even more of all those things and i am okay with that too.
i have turned corners, set goals and for once believed in myself and all that i am...i have that right!
a few weeks back i wanted to start exercising again and all that goes hand in hand with that. i have a dicky back and a dicky hip but i really try not to allow for those 2 body parts to bring me down. so i've started walking again, i have bought a good skipping rope and i've decided i'm going back to gym.
these are my goals and i am going to embrace them with everything i have. you see i don't want to be that 50 year old or that 55 or 60 year old that looks older and way beyond her means, i want to live an active life, enjoy life, enjoy the clothing i wear, the makeup i wear, the shoes i wear, the jewellery i wear for as long as i can. i want to enjoy everything i can in life because one day...i will be too old to do those things! and i am not going to like living those years as much as i love living them now.
so from an older person to a younger person...if i can offer a few words of wisdom...stop living your life for everyone else. it will never be in your best interest, remove the negative garbage from your life and live because we only have one shot at this life, we don't get a do over, once we're here we have a few shorts years to make the most of that time so make every bit of it count and don't let those that love to live in a world full of their own misery and hate lead the way!
oh and one of the other awesome things since turning 50....my creative mojo has grown in leaps and bounds and i get to do what i love...being creative. so here's a few of those creative mojo moments below :)
some of the above goodies are already in my Scrap Girls Store but the rest will go live this Friday and they're always on sale for that time.
until next time, be happy and stay safe :)